Reality is Harsh.

...And that's all there is to it.

Need to vent out. To angst. To watch the world crumble to pieces in front of me- for the umpteenth time. Is there no such thing as an escape route? Once reality catches up with you, it leaves a burning mark.

Too bad, though. Reality's cruelty never leaves you untainted. Unspoiled. Untarnished.

Today. This cursed day, like any other typical bad-luck-enhanced day. I'm not expecting the worst. Oh no, sire. I'm not.

What's the friggin' use of trying to cheer yourself up, anyway? To lighten up your own mood, all by yourself, simply because you don't want your facade and pride to come crumbling down also? It wounds your ego. Of course that's always a fact. Always.

I know. I'm talking some rubbish, nonsensical words, phrases, sentences- time and time again. I can't help it, however. I'm also aware that despite angsting unreasonably here, I'll never be able to type in the main cause anyway. Just let this out. That's all I can ask- from myself.

Dammit, so insecure. So unsure. So lacking of self-esteem. Is this the farthest point I can go, even if heaven knows I can still push myself over the limit? My settled limit?

School. Necessities. Grades. Pride. Social relationships. Love? Life. Many weights, crashing down on me all at once, my shoulders, body, mind- unable to bear them. But what, then? I- may not have the right to complain. I may not have every right in the world to whine about duties, responsibilities, etc.etc- since I am to accept them eventually. When there's no more path that stretches itself in front of you, on the very place you've put your feet on- it leaves you no other option. Just follow, you have to.

Existence being cut off. *sighs*

...But hell no, not yet- at least, not now. There are still a whole lot of things to ponder. To muse about. To give time for.